So I totally forgot about April Fools Day this year. I usually do something fun, but I think I was on vacation or something and the whole gag passed me by. Curses. This Justin Timberlake meme will have to do.

So today is May 1. It’s Derby Week. This is, by far, my favorite week of the year. Nothing is more Louisville than the Derby, even if the race itself is hardly for most of us anymore. Tickets are outrageous, lines to bet or buy drinks are nuts, the weather is always dicey. It costs like $75 just to get in the infield, and that’s before the effort you have to undertake to sneak booze in there. Even if you just want to gamble on your phone and skip the lines, good luck getting any cell service. There are 140 thousand people trying to post to Twitter or Snapchat or Instagram or YouFace who don’t care if you get your four dollar exacta box in on the fifth race.

Still, though, the city shows out for the Derby. Everyone’s in a good mood. There’s something fun to do every day and every night. The highway department finally gets around to mowing all the grass by the roads. No one else is working all that hard. A lot of us are nursing hangovers literally every morning after the races. I dress up like I’m headed to the track almost every day just in case someone calls me with tickets.

Whether you’re in it for the horses or, more likely, the party, it’s a great time to be in Louisville. Enjoy as many events as you can this week – you never know when you might have to move somewhere boring. Like Indianapolis.

Links!

  • Las Vegas Lights are, predictably, a sh*tshow. Their Technical Director/former manager Chelis and his son/now manager Isidro Sanchez were suspended after trying to start a fight after their game against Real Monarchs last week, and then got a guy sent off in the first half of their return match Monday night.
  • The President of the United States apparently called the president of Nigeria to ask him to vote for the North American  bid for the 2026 World Cup. The president of Nigeria does not have a vote in that election, as he does not represent the Nigerian FA. Also, FIFA has rules against governments interfering in their elections. They have rules against corruption and stuff, too, but, well, you can see where I’m going with this.
  • New York Cosmos owner and serial lawsuit filer Rocco Commiso offered USSF $500 million in exchange for letting NASL play soccer again without any league standards for ten years. Watch this space to see if it will work!