Y’all, I just realized the Super Bowl is this weekend. If you live in America, you’re aware of the Super Bowl. You’re probably also aware of Tom Brady, whose name and face occasionally graces tabloid covers and Us Weekly, among lots of other things. You might have even heard of Bill Belichick, the grumpiest old man since Walter Matthau and almost single-handedly responsible for making “hobo-chic” an excusable fashion choice in the Year of Our Lord 2019.

You might have also heard that the L.A. Rams are also playing in the Super Bowl. You’d be excused if you didn’t know that, because almost no one outside of NFL circles is talking about the Rams. You’d also be excused if you had no idea that the Rams had moved back to Los Angeles from St. Louis like five years ago or something. Some people my age might not even know that the Rams started off in L.A. in the first place, and only know the team because Kurt Warner was every-freakin’-where in the late 1990s.

It gets even deeper! The Patriots are owned by Bob Kraft, who also owns the New England Revolution. It’s okay if you didn’t know that one; Bob Kraft himself often forgets he owns the Revs. Even more fun, the Rams are owned by one Stan Kroenke, who also owns the Colorado Rapids AND, get this, Arsenal FC. The one in London. If the Rapids and Arsenal are any kind of guidepost, you probably shouldn’t bet on the Rams on Sunday. They’re getting 2.5 points from Vegas, and while that might seem tight, just you wait.

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