Normally during the season, this space is reserved for a breakdown of Saturday’s match. However, weather was a total jerk and didn’t let us have a match. Instead, you get and extra weekday to read whatever it is that I decided to pontificate about. Think of it like daylight savings time, but even worse!

Since we don’t have a game of our own to talk about, let’s make fun of someone else’s. Nashville’s home opener treated fans to their first taste of Lilleyball with a 0-0 draw against the revamped Pittsburgh Riverhounds. The Hounds actually played the better match and had 13 shots in the game to NSC’s six, but zero goals is zero goals.

Atlanta Twonited also debuted over the weekend, hosting NYRBII for a 3-1 beating. Having seen Red Bulls II play recently, this was a surprising result. Then again, New York didn’t bring some of their roster down to Georgia, presumably because the first team is trying to split time between MLS and CONCACAF Champions League games. That still shouldn’t take away from a surprisingly good result for 2nited. Jon Gallagher scored a brace and Yosef Samuel scored the opener. USL has zero info on either player, which is just GREAT.

Other notes: Tampa Bay is still good; Penn FC, Richmond, and TFC2 are still bad; Swope Park is scoring for fun at this point, and Charlotte is in first place? Is this an alternate universe we’re living in? Did Stephen Hawking rip a hole in the space-time continuum when he died? If he did, why did he just make it so Charlotte would be better at soccer and not change anything else? Hawking was a different guy.