I wasn’t expecting this score line, much like I wasn’t expecting a lot of things from this game. Louisville City somehow managed to get all three points from Orlando City B on Sunday night, despite going down to ten men midway through the first half and giving up three goals.

Go back and read that last sentence again if you have to.

James O’Connor started a mostly first-choice lineup with Ranjitsingh in goal, Tarek Morad and Sean Reynolds in defense, Smith and Newnam at fullback, DelPiccolo and Quinn in the center of midfield, Kaye, McCabe, and Davis IV in attack and Chandler Hoffman up top. Orlando pulled in six guys who’ve been seeing minutes with Dad in their own right.

From the opening whistle, the game was a physical affair. Louisville City started out on the front foot and just twelve minutes in found the back of the net on a great play from the right side by Cuatro and a very good Kyle Smith cross that Chandler Hoffman easily finished for his eighth goal of the season. Just two minutes later, though, Davis would earn a yellow card. Louisville managed possession quite well after that, or at least seemed to until the 29th minute when Orlando’s Harrison Heath (son of OC-A head coach Adrian) put the Lions equal following some poor defensive play by Louisville City leading to the goal.

Our Kings remained active, though, and Cuatro had a few more shots on goal from set plays in the minutes after the goal before getting sent off for a second yellow on a bad challenge in the 39th minute. Louisville was undeterred in attack to round out the rest of the half, but one could be excused for thinking the second half would mostly feature City sitting deep and trying to smother Orlando to death as best they could while being shorthanded.

Well, only one of those things kind of happened. Louisville City sort of sat deeper, but they didn’t cede possession, and the last word I’d use to describe that second half would be “smothering.”

Orlando City got out on the attack quickly when the second period began, forcing Ranjitsingh into a quick double save and finally finding the back of the net on a goal after a scramble in the box from Hadji Barry in the 51st minute. Cameron Lancaster came on for Chandler Hoffman just two minutes later, followed by a substitution for Niall McCabe by Andrew Lubahn.

At that point I thought, “Well, this is done. Oh well.”

That was a stupid thing to think as it turns out, because Lubahn found Ben Newnam for the equalizer in the 62nd minute on a pretty play from the left side, then Love Train scored one for himself on a perfect diving flick-on header off a WOW Paolo cross, and then Aodhan Quinn destroyed a free kick that found the top corner of the Orlando goal in what felt like five minutes. Here’s a vine!

2-4 to Louisville City. This all happened in the span of like five minutes.

Down a man, mind you. I don’t like to say “I can’t even” but I. Can’t. Even.

As I said, the game was a physical one and plenty of yellow cards were handed out to lots of people whom the USL may or may not recognize and/or suspend as the week goes on. Orlando got another goal in stoppage time but it was too little, too late, and somehow Louisville City walked away with all three points. Just, wow. Wow. This team is like some kind of bizarro thing where a man advantage is a disadvantage, but a man disadvantage means GOALSCORING WUNDERTEAM. I don’t get it, but I like it, and I’m gonna shut up about it before it’s jinxed.

Up next: We’re finally going to have a home game! It’s on Saturday night against the Weirdo Sharks! It’s gonna be awesome! Yay!