WHO: St. Louis FC, 7-11-9, 9th place Eastern Conference, no hope of making the playoffs since probably July.

WHAT: Louisville City’s last regular season USL game, St. Louis’s last USL game until 2016.

WHEN: Saturday, September 19, 2015, 8:30 p.m. EDT

WHERE: World Wide Technologies Park, 1 Soccer Park Rd, Fenton, MO 63026. There are six Google reviews of WWT Park, two of which were posted by a lady named Barbara Kruse, and one by a Google User who “booked the AB center for my May 15, 2010 wedding reception, and I have nothing but great things to say about the experience.”

WATCH: At Against the Grain with us! It’s a great time! They have barbecue! And beer! And things that vegetarians eat! I wouldn’t know anything about that! But if you can’t make it to the stadium to watch with us because you brought a clock to school in Texas, then try convincing your warden to let you watch it here:

WHO, AGAIN? Well, folks, this is it. Our last game before the playoffs. Our guys could be excused for taking it easy this game, given that they’ve already locked up second place in the East, and given that St. Louis is, how should I put it, “not good at soccer.”

But. BUT!

This one’s for the Kings’ Cup! The Fleur de Louis Derby! LOOK AT IT!

Hats off to El Presidente Timothy Clark, Ken Luther and Rebecca Tamas for putting that thing together. The Louligans aren’t particularly impressed, more likely because they won’t be drinking out of it on Saturday after the game than because they forgot that both cities are named after kings and both of those kings happen to be named Louis. Color me un-surprised that they couldn’t figure out the play on words.

As for the team itself: they’ve won just once at home all season, they’ve got almost as many red cards as wins on the year, and their leading goal scorer has hit the net four times this season. Matt Fondy and his Hair over there like “LOL guys that’s good now go get me a sandwich.”

The truth is this is a game the Purples should win, it’s a game the players care about, and it means a little more because it’s the best way to lock up home field against anyone else in the post season that aren’t Rhinoceri. After some less than pleasant performances against New York and Charleston, I’d love to see our guys go full throttle on a full week’s rest and kick some Fentonite ass. So would you.

Let’s go get it. COME ON, CITY!