The announcement of FC Cincinnati’s admittance into Major League Soccer on Tuesday marks the imminent departure of Louisville City’s biggest rival. Our neighbors up the Dirty River have become, in less than three seasons of existence, such scoundrels that no team may ever reach the heights of infamy that FC Cincinnati and it’s fanbase were able to achieve during their loud, brief time in USL. FCC’s USL years were an intoxicating brew of ambition and hubris, entitlement and enthusiasm, big money and big crowds, dysfunction and delirium. In the end, though, FC Cincinnati succeeded in it’s first, and only, goal: MLS.
“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out”, seems to be the prevailing sentiment, not just from Louisville City fans, but from fans of nearly every club in the USL. Louisville City will forever be FC Cincinnati’s first (and best) rival, and there really is no runner-up. One could make the argument that “Everyone Else” has been FCC’s second rival, as FCC has played the role as the universally disparaged, de-facto heel of the entire United Soccer League. Their fans even seemed to embrace their status as the unapologetic aristocrats, impatiently biding their time in the boondocks of USL until MLS mercifully granted them their rightful place at the big kids table.
While it may be nice to have the big and noisy distraction out of USL, I think Lou City fans may end up missing FCC more than we realize. Nashville was headed out on the first train to Garberville before ever kicking a ball in USL, and we’ll not have ample time to build any real enmity between our clubs. St. Louis seems likely to be stuck in the “frenemy” zone, as their inability to field a competitive team has put a damper on our rivalry. Indy 11 represents perhaps the best immediate chance at a replacement rival, but that seems a way off, as their fanbase has proved mostly reasonable and good-humored to this point.
What games will we circle on our calendar each year when the schedule is released? What victories will we savor as deeply? Whose failure will provide such joy? Perhaps some worthy opponent will emerge, but it likely will never be the same.
Likewise, I imagine that City will remain FCC’s main rival despite being in different leagues. Who else could it be? The Columbus Crew would naturally be FC Cincinnati’s biggest MLS rival. Unfortunately, they may not be in Ohio for much longer, as they’re currently in a fight for their very existence. The Crew’s owner, Anthony Precourt, with implicit support and encouragement from Don Garber himself, is clumsily attempting to extricate the Crew from Columbus to Austin, Texas. The treacherous behavior on the part of MLS towards one of its founding franchises has seemingly not raised any red flags for FCC, which is a testament to their myopic, single-minded obsession with gaining entry into MLS, ethics or integrity of their new league be damned.
Should the Crew cease to exist, where will FC Cincinnati direct their ire? Perhaps they could drum up a little feisty banter with the the other new franchise in Nashville. It had to sting a bit when Nashville cut in line and took FCC’s preordained MLS bid. Chicago? Atlanta? Toronto? DC United? No, I doubt any of those teams will raise the blood pressure of the FCC faithful like good ol’ Louisville City. That fact that they won’t be able to get us off their mind will always stick in their craw, though they be loathe to admit it, and will linger as they pay $30 a ticket for the privilege of watching their team play the Colorado Rapids.
Lest any of the LouCity faithful feel a twinge of jealousy towards our upriver neighbors, there are a few important points to remember. Louisville City will soon play in their own stadium, one which will be among the best in USL, a full year before Cinci unveils their stadium which will double as the dowry gift to Mr. Garber and his cohorts for admittance into the royal court. Louisville City will always and forever be the first team to defeat FCC in Nippert, as well as the last team to beat them before their MLS announcement. Louisville City also delivered FCC the worst defeat in their history. Most importantly, though, Louisville City has more championships than FC Cincinnati has playoff wins. Never forget!
Before we bid them adieu, we must give credit where it is due. The numbers don’t lie, and FCC fans have supported their team in numbers that were previously unimaginable for a team at the USL level. From a business and marketing perspective, FCC has pulled all the right strings from the get-go. They went from a city that wasn’t even on the radar of the MLS/SUM syndicate to gaining their favor in less than three years. Yes, having an extremely high-dollar ownership group helps, but not every rich guy vying for the Garber Gang’s favor has had equal success in such a short window of time. They played the game as it currently exists, in all it’s monopolistic, exceptionally American glory, and they won they only type of “promotion” available.
So kudos, Fußball Club Cincinnati! You came, you saw, you certainly didn’t conquer, and now we have just five short months left to enjoy your presence in our humble league. We hope you enjoyed your brief stay in the wilderness of “lower division” American soccer. You were a worthy villain.
Lastly, allow us to bestow upon you one last piece of unsolicited wisdom: Although $150 million may be enough money to purchase an MLS franchise, there are some things that money cannot buy.
