DAS SCHEDULE IS HERE!

We’ve all been waiting with bated breath for the 2017 USL schedule to arrive, and arrive it has. Here’s a quick link to see the whole shebang, which you can then sort by team. Of course, only one team matters to us, and that’s Louisville City. You can visit the club’s website for a printable version here.

Some thoughts thereon:

We already knew the home opener on March 25 was going to be against Sad Louis, now better known as Team Preki. Eastern Conference Confidential is a podcast with worse production values than Barrel Proof, and that braintrust thinks we’re trash and are going to lose that one, along with our road opener in Orlando the next week, eleventy to negative three, but they’re a bunch of coastal elites so forget them.
Sixteen home games! We already knew that was coming, too, but it’s still very cool.
No games against any Western Conference teams, confirming that they might as well not even exist.
Now that I look at the printable version of the schedule from the club site, it’s a little weird that Humana isn’t on there anywhere.
We get our first shot at Tampa Bay on tax day. I’m sure there will be some intoxicated tax preparers at that one.
We get the Knifey Soccer Lions at home twice, but our first tilt against them is away.
Apparently trying to gin up another interior waterway-themed rivalry, the USL also has the Pittsburgh Otters on the schedule three times this season, two home and one away.
We get Charlotte at home twice, once away.
The last three-game opponent on the schedule is our twice-foiled playoff victim Charleston. I like that.
Both matches against an ever-more depleted Rochester Rhinos are late in the season.
Our first crack at New York Red Bulls II will be in Montclair, New Jersey on June 10.
There are two spots where the schedule gets a little congested: three games from June 3 to June 10, and then three games again from August 20 to August 26. The aforementioned NYRBII game comes on the tail end of that first stretch; the second one is a little more manageable as the latter two games are at home.