Somebody photoshop some Canadians into this picture STAT.

by Taylor Sorrels (@taylorsorrels)

Average chronological thought cloud for persons watching the St. Louis v. Toronto FC II: A Very Toronto Sequel last night:

  • Wow, that what quick.
  • St. Louis is going to roll.
  • Oh, wow, equalizer!
  • Those TFC2 outside backs are fast.
  • Does St. Louis even defense?
  • ANOTHER Toronto goal? It must be Canada Day.
  • STLOLOSS.

So it looks like Cincinnati’s gonna get a USL team, maybe as soon as next year. While there are probably a lot of hurdles, both real and metaphorical, for a new club to navigate before that fever dream becomes a reality, in all likelihood FC Cincinnati’s gonna be in our conference soon. As such, I’d like to offer my thoughts on the Queen City in general: I lived there for a total of eight years of my life that I will never get back. Those were not the best of times. I did not enjoy it. Cincy is great if you like mediocre baseball, bad football, crappy beer until very recently, people thinking they’re better than you just because they live in Ohio (OHIO!), and really crappy chili (except for Dixie Chili, which is amazing). Otherwise, I can’t recommend it. So I look forward to hating their soccer team and wishing them the same success their MLB and NFL franchises have enjoyed for the past 25 years, i.e. first round playoff exits, if they’re lucky.

Finally, USL announced this week that it has formed a partnership with a design and construction firm with a view to house every team in the league in its own soccer specific stadium by 2020. My first reaction: good luck with that. USL teams probably aren’t making the kind of money needed to privately finance stadiums in this day and age, and with so many teams having dropped out of the league since its most recent incarnation, it seems like USL is asking a lot for teams that can barely afford to function in their present situations to find a way to build soccer parks for their teams and fans. I mean, super cool idea, and it’s fun to talk about, and it also follows the league’s vision of trying to get Division 2 certification from USSF. But I’m not convinced how realistic this is. All that said, Louisville City is totally gonna be able to pull this off and it’s gonna be awesome so spend more money on the team so this can happen.

GO CITY BEAT TORONTO FC II: