WHO: Orlando City B, 0-1-1, 1 point in the East
WHAT: Louisville City’s second USL home game of 2016, which we hope will go much better than the first.
WHEN: Saturday, April 9, 2016, 7:30 P.M. EDT
WHERE: Slugger Field, home of the best fans in the league, and also a recently more attentive security detail.
WATCH: At the game of course. Will it be cold? Not if you’re from Canada! Will it be kind of damp? Not if your a mermaid! Or a mer-man! So you should be there! But if you can’t, a) the team might count it anyway, and b) you can still watch the stream on YouTube here, mute optional:
WHO, AGAIN? Orlando City B, Dad’s new family. This match is the first iteration of the “You’re Not My Real Dad Derby” (I’m sure that’ll stick) with the Lion Cubs. It’ll be a little weird because they’ll basically be wearing our away kits with different logos and sponsors, kind of like a spring football game or something. Anyway, Will Phillips did a great preseason review of the team, and Taylor Hamblin ably wrote an in-depth match preview yesterday, which means I just get to be snarky and lazy. Thank heavens.
SUPPORTERS: I doubt they’ll bring any, but these guys actually do have a supporters group at their home ground at Eastern Florida State College in Melbourne, FL called the Harbor City Hooligans. There are more than a smattering of them, and they have banners and flags and smoke and stuff, so good on them.
ACTUAL MARCH TO THE MATCH: Join the Coopers at the Troll Pub at 2nd and Washington for Falls City beer specials and march with us to the stadium a half hour before kickoff! Or tailgate! Or drink some Ball Control at Against the Grain! You can’t go wrong, as long as you go to the match!
STATISTICAL COMPARISON OF DUBIOUS VALIDITY: While both Louisville City and OCB have, sadly, the exact same number of goals for and against so far this season (1 and 2, respectively), City has more than double the number of shots (23 to 11) and shots on goal (7 to 3).
PREDICTIONS OF SLOWLY ERODING CONFIDENCE: Elsie kind of need a shut out to guarantee three points here, and they might get one. The midfield simply has to figure out a way to play together and how to spring Chandler Hoffman or whoever starts at forward. 1-0 to Dad’s old family.
COME ON, CITY!