Yesterday, Louisville City announced that the club would train at IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida for a couple weeks in late February. City’s decision to go snow-bird is not surprising following a series of natural disasters (e.g. snow, ice, floods, snowfloods, typical Louisville stuff) during last year’s preseason. James O’Connor clearly was looking for a way to train his players without dodging the odd iceberg or mudpit that used to be a soccer field, or playing indoors and sharing field time with six year olds. Adorable six year olds, but six year olds. It was hypothesized (by me) that City would likely spend the early months training in Orlando with Orlando City, but once the affiliation fizzled, that train probably sailed. This, however is a good solution.

IMG, which produced Landon “Go Go USA” Donovan, “Run” DeMarcus Beasley and Secretary of Defense Tim Howard, is essentially a sports school on the west coast of Florida. The reason golfers, tennis players, and old people from the north live in Florida is because it’s warm there. You can play sports all year long. Or at least ride around in golf carts wearing shorts and drinking pool drinks. They don’t have the permafrost-sludge-standing water problems we have at Thurman-Hutchins Park on River Road in the spring. Sure, there are hurricanes and alligators and real estate scams, but whatever man.

To the press release, Batman!

IMG Academy offers innovative, comprehensive and customized training programs for athletes on its 500-acre campus with unparalleled facilities. The players are given a detailed schedule for meals, mobility, skills and strength training, and simulated matches on IMG’s 16-professional quality Bermuda-grass fields.

Louisville City FC will have access to IMG’s elite team of specialists in training, rehabilitation, vision training, weight training, and mental conditioning. The club will also have the opportunity to compete with other professional teams/players in the form of coordinated friendlies.

Unparalleled facilities! Elite specialists! Detailed meal schedules! It’s paradise!

Seriously, it does sound cool. Here’s hoping no one gets hurt and O’Connor doesn’t get a sunburn on his vampire-white skin.