by John McCulloch (@johmccu)

Matt Fondy + Torontwo = 4-0 LCFC win! It’s simple algebra. If you haven’t yet read Taylor’s March to the Match for LCFC’s USOC game against the Uniteds of Lansing, go do that. After reading this. Or before. I won’t judge. Unless you don’t read this post. Then I’ll judge you.

 

Match ratings below!

RATINGS

5.16.15

MOTM

Matt Fondy is the deserved man of the match this week. With two goals and an assist in 74 minutes, he was an absolute terror for the baby commies (geddit? Their nickname is the Reds and they play for- oh forget it). Kadeem Dacres and Scott Goodwin round out the top three. Dacres was a constant threat, with 1 goal and 1 assist on 4 shots on goal. That combination of Burke and Dacres on the right has so far wreaked havoc on the opposition, much to my delight. I’m becoming increasingly convinced Scott Goodwin is, as this redditor states, descended from a line of beautiful women and brick walls. Four goals allowed in eight games. That’s absurd. Credit to both him and his back line for such dominance.

 

SEASON MATCH RATINGS

SEASON

HEADLINES, GET YER HEADLINES HERE!

We asked for your best headlines. Here’s a few:

Raining Purple Goals

Because it rained. Again.

Bourbon > Maple Syrup > Hockey > Toronto FC 2

It’s simple math!

TFCII Puts The “O” In ‘O Canada’

Louisville Fond of Fondy After Brace

Correct.

The 2’s are terrible!

Stinky diapers and all.

Double rainbow for the brace! Even Mother Nature was keeping score for Fondy last night.

That was very nice of Mother Nature to do so. Maybe next time she’ll be nice enough TO NOT RAIN, HAIL, TORNADO, HURRICANE, OR BLIZZARD ON US. Sorry Mother Nature, it’s just… I’m tired of the terrible weather.

 

Tonight LCFC takes on Lansing United. You can follow the match on Twitter and we hear it might be broadcast on something called Periscope. You don’t need the app to watch the stream, so watch!