While you stayed up with Louisville City three out of the last seven nights, other HOT USL ACTION was happening. Here’s the rundown:

  • It doesn’t take much to get the soccer ebays buzzing, but USL 7-0 NASL in the U.S. Open Cup was fodder for a lot of nonsensical conversation. Yes, absolutely, sweeping the NASL out of the U.S.’s only real cup competition is a big deal, but it’s too soon to call it a canary-in-the-coalmine moment for NASL*. Do it three or four years in a row and we’ll have something concrete to talk about.
  • Head-desk moment if you’re a Harrisburg City Islanders fan: Score at the end of regular time: PIT 3-5 HCI. Score at the end of added time: PIT 6-5 HCI. Harrisburg City Islanders coughed up a two goal lead in the span of literally three minutes to lose in Pittsburgh. Unbelievable.
  • In other scoreboard-asplosion news, Richmond beat NYRBII 4-2 in a game that featured, per USL’s newsblurb, “three penalty shots and 14 corner kick between the two clubs”. To which I say, just 14 corners combined? Try 15 for Louisville City on its own last weekend, equaling zero goals and an intensifying desire to slam my hand in a car door every time I see the Gremlins screw one up.
  • Out west, who cares  Arizona United continued its slide despite the best efforts of future Ballon D’Or winner Long Tan, and everything else was pretty dull.
  • MISCELLANEA: Google is working with Levi’s to make “smart clothes,” which I guess means those of us with non-Googlefied jeans will have to bear the shame of wearing dumb clothes.

*The real canary-in-the-coalmine moment might have been when Traffic Sports USA’s CEO and chair of the NASL’s board of directors Aaron Davidson was named in that big FBI/IRS/Alphabet Soup FIFA indictment that was so much fun to follow last week.