Turns out Oklahoma City wasn’t the only team to leave their defense on the bus last weekend. Here are some other score lines that would make Jose Mourinho say something snippy about Arsenal: Switchbacks 5-0 OC Blues; Tulsa 1-3 Sacramento; Tulsa 2-4 Los Dos (sensing a theme here); Charleston 4-1 Harrisburg; Saint Louis 1-4 NYRBII LOL; OC Blues 3-2 Whitecaps 2. I’m not going to to back and do the math, but I’m betting that’s the most goals in this league in a week this season.
In opposite-land, though, the Richmond “F-ing” Kickers, whose name is more of a lifestyle choice than something cute their owners came up with in the 90s, ended their match with Charlotte Independence in a scoreless draw after weather forced the teams to stop play after halftime. Know how Louisville City played four games in about ten days, including an extra time U.S. Open Cup match with the Chicago Fire? Rich-o’s only played ninety total minutes in the last two weeks thanks to rain-shortened draws, both of which earned them a point.
Speaking of rain, Rochester and Pittsburgh played in what appeared to be a giant puddle in western New York on Saturday. Unfortunately, that didn’t change the result that you would have expected, weather notwithstanding: 1-0 to Rochester. Water is wet, grass is green, etc.
I’m afraid there’s not much else interesting to talk about in the USL this week. Bad teams are still bad, good teams are still good. Bill Walton is still a Dead-Head. In the absence of any compelling narrative in the league this week (aside from reminding you that the Kickers are a bunch of a-holes), here’s a dog jumping onto a kid trying to waterski in a swimming pool.