News From The Purple Front

Louisville City FC Updates, Opinions & Trash Talk
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Last Week This Morning: December 28

Did everyone have a nice Christmas/holiday/Festivus/December 24-27? I know I did! I my kids got all kinds of new toys for me to play with, I drank way too much a moderate and responsible amount of alcohol, and definitely did not gain nearly fifteen pounds in about half as many days. Hope yours was equally glorious.

Now comes New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, two occasions not religious enough (yet) for Fox News to declare that they have been assaulted by other newsmedia and/or Starbucks. Most people like to use this time of year to reflect on the past 365 days, feel bad about it, and get absolutely smashed resolve to try and do better next time. We here at louisvillecoopers.com are no different and, since there’s no real news to talk about in this week’s USL news roundup, here are a list of New Year’s Resolutions that the braintrust, i.e., me, came up with:

  1. We resolve to keep being awesome, but even moreso.
  2. We resolve to focus most of our derision and scorn on FC Cincinnati instead of St. Louis FC, but also probably still on St. Louis FC for nostalgia’s sake. [single tear emoji]
  3. We resolve to volunteer to buy shovels and rent/”borrow” heavy equipment for which we are not licensed to operate to facilitate the building of a new stadium for Louisville City if that is what is necessary.
  4. We will set off even more smoke bombs.
  5. We will remind teams from other places that they are not from actual, or even real, cities.
  6. We will do a better job of appreciating Matt Fondy and his mane.
  7. We resolve to sing louder and more intelligibly. Or less intelligibly, but still louder.
  8. We will bring our non-soccer loving friends to Louisville City matches so that we can bear to be around them after they then become Louisville City fans.
  9. We resolve to continue to remind the red/green/yellow team that they suck.
  10. Finally, we resolve to work together to continue to make Slugger the best home field advantage in the USL, nay, American soccer.

Enjoy your New Year, everyone!