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BREAKING: Landon Donovan signs with Louisville City!

Not wanting to be outdone by Charlotte Independence’s signing of Randy Moss yesterday, Louisville City communications director Jonathan Lintner today announced that The Greatest American Soccer Player Evar (Pending Christian Pulisic Winning FIFA World Cup 2018™)™, Landon Donovan, would be signing a one year deal with Louisville City FC.  Other terms of the deal were not disclosed.

“I’m so excited to join Louisville City for the 2017 season,” said Donovan on Friday night from his home in southern California. “I know I said I was retired earlier in the year, but I’ve said that before, too. I retired in 2015, but then last year I got back on the field for L.A. Galaxy. I said I didn’t like playing soccer as a career and took off on walkabout in Cambodia for a while, but then came back and played some more professional soccer again.

“Obviously I’m a guy who likes a challenge. Coming out of retirement for a second or third time in less than eighteen months to play in the USL fits that bill for me.”

Donovan, the USMNT’s all time leading goalscorer, will wear the number 10 for Louisville City. Brian Ownby will now wear number 69 out of spite.

Asked if this could mean a re-appearance for the Yanks under long-time coach Bruce Arena, Donovan was circumspect:

“I mean, he’s got Michael Orozco out there. Anything could happen. Bruce and I have a great relationship. Jurgen Klinsmann deserved to get fired. I hope the worst things in life happen to him, and only him. What was your question?”

The signing is a surprising one for James O’Connor, who is usually more apt to look to the college ranks for signings. “We did what?”, said the Louisville City manager when asked about this totally epic acquisition.

Louisville City has a long break before its next match against Richmond Kickers on April 8, but it is unclear whether Donovan will play.